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firehose81's favorite FMLs
by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
by Honey Badger / 03/08/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Work
by bumpyroad / 04/17/2011 at 10:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML
by myselfami / 03/31/2011 at 7:31am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
by AlexK / 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was… Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room,… Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job…