About finnrambo : who gives two shits?
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finnrambo's favorite FMLs
by parched / 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
by jaxattax / 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by ostfae / 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by picaboo / 08/10/2009 at 12:41pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
by Pottymouth / 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm / United States / Money
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
by harrysolo / 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend once again accused me of cooking food with too much fat, making him gain 35 lbs… Today, a customer threw a cup of cole slaw at my face at the restaurant I work at for "not serving… Today, I came back from a 2 week vacation to find out my dad and stepmother divorced. She took the…