About finnrambo : who gives two shits?
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finnrambo's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 10:16am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
by crazy_mom / 11/01/2010 at 11:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
by lovelesslonely / 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by dancerr2210 / 06/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
by Adrian16 / 01/18/2010 at 6:01am / Norway (Vestfold) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
by weeble_wobbles09 / 01/08/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
by Jssceli09 / 12/18/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by ohcrap / 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by cookscatastrophy / 12/08/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML
by shellbom / 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
by redisnotmycolor / 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by jobless / 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…