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finnrambo's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Forever sad / 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 4:35am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Transportation
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML
by BadTime / 08/30/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Colorado) / Money
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
by rbeast / 07/21/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by James64138 / 06/15/2011 at 6:13am / United States / Intimacy
by stepsister / 06/10/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…