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father_metal

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father_metal's favorite FMLs

Today , I Was Having An Argument With My Grlfriend In Front Of Our Friends. I Didn't Want Her To Spoil My Good Time , So I Ignored Her Until She Disappereed. She Re-appereed Thrty Minutes Later Just To Throw A Punch That Would Make Muhammad Ali Jealous. Our Friends' Reaction? They Clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8660) - you deserved it (42089)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

I Was In The Shower... When I Heard My Daughter Scream And Shout... "Mommy... Mommy! Help! Come Quick!" I Panicked And Rushed Downstairs Without Even Looking For A Towel To Cover Myself... All So I Could Fine Out She'd Just Gotten A Piece Of Dirt On Her Shoe. Mega FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (2515)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, girlfriand got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash ovar har pubic mound. Nowhanavar I go down on har, I'll ba aya-to-aya with an adorabla pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31810) - you deserved it (4927)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

my dad got drunk an played a practical joke looool on me; a practical joke that resulted in mah knee bieng broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while mah dad hunts 4 ( hot nurses ). FML

#19881083
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (1660)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told mah fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. big fat FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I let mah daughter bake a cake 4 her brother's fifth brthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. looool Apparently it's okay , though , because "I frosted it to look lyk a rocket , hehehe!" I can't believe mah balls spawned this moron. big fat FML

#19867387
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (6066)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT THE ONLY WAY I CAN CONVINCE MY HUSBAND TO START WORKING OUT IS BY CONVINCING HIM THAT WE R TRAINING FIR WHEN THE ( ZOMBIE OUTBREAK ) HAPPENS . FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3549)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, I REALIZED JUST HOW MUCH OF A BITCH I AM WHEN I GROUNDED MY SON 4 NOT TELLING ME WHAT HE GOT ME 4 MY BRTHDAY. FML

#19861407
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (80853)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today boyfriend finally met brother. He arrestd him 4 drunk driving.

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Yesterday I Confronted My Daughter About The Various Drug-associated Items I Found In Her Room. She Then Confronted Me About Going In Her Room An Invading Her Privacy, To The Pointhere I Forgot The Main Issue An Apologised To Her. I Just Got Outsmarted By A Teenage Pothead.

#19857408
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (38953)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decidd to teach her the dance. When she showd her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decidd to bend over and moon them. FML

#19856741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2601)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today... I sent mah boyfriend a nude picture... he sent it back to me with a mustache on mah face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

#19853880
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25512) - you deserved it (8990)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:58am - intimacy - by maggie74 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after looool getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (1663)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today.!! !! I discoverd mah children had found mah vibrator an burid it in the cat's litter box !! FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (11135)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday, I cummed home looool from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, your not crippled. Oh wait, yeah u are" and laughed hysterically. mega FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States



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