Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

falcons14

Search for a member

falcons14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 408
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

falcons14's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

falcons14's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (4641)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (3929)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (53268)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

#15354612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (3321)

On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (4191)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

#15062503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:22am - misc - by meme71 -

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32484) - you deserved it (3941)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (12766)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (7632)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

#14572536
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (11334)

On 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (7586)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (2584)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5875) - you deserved it (59661)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: