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  • One more and it's business time

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Falcons14's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

By Sam / Friday 28 November 2008 08:50 / France

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

By valnaj1 - / Tuesday 25 December 2012 03:03 / Denmark - Vamdrup

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

By Devil - / Tuesday 11 December 2012 06:07 / Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

By golfstar11 / Tuesday 11 December 2012 02:05 / United States - Savannah

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

By woodless - / Sunday 9 December 2012 15:29 / Canada - Toronto