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falcons14

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falcons14
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  • Number of visits : 238
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (1539)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (7856)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16852) - you deserved it (2516)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18580) - you deserved it (3391)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (2738)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (1226)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (18495)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (3323)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#19464773
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (1329)

On 04/14/2012 at 1:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML

#19406432
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2558)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

#19091381
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (2962)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (2769)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

#18976383
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (5342)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (3391)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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