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falcons14

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falcons14

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my dad got drunk an played a practical joke looool on me; a practical joke that resulted in mah knee bieng broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while mah dad hunts 4 ( hot nurses ). FML

#19881083
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (1660)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my grandmother saw me 4 the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (8218)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I ovaraard ma boss and a co-workar talking about ma. Apparantly wan I spaak, I slur ma words so badly tat it sounds lyk I'm spaaking in tonguas. According to ma boss, ( a could ba possassd by a damon rigt now, and wa'd navar avan notica. ) FML

#19770940
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (2875)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today while at my cosmetic job an elderly lady came up to me asking fir a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size fir a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size cuz she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (4653)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, wile I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, ma boyfriend decided it would be funny to put te car into reverse instead of drive wile I was waiting 4 traffic to clear. I don't tink te people wo own te car beind me were lauging. Nor is ma now ex-boyfriend. mega FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (2995)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because "*I* signed fir it!" FML

#19673305
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (1455)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. looool We came to experience the country's culture, an to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, an not ten seconds later, a stranger approached an asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (2521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I askd mah dad if mah girlfriend could sleep over!! He winkd at me an agred!! When I brought her home, we went to mah room fir a quickie!! There, I saw that mah dad had tapd multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing mah girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (20839)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today , my grlfriend draggd me along to one of er family's paintball matces. Her fater is a former marine , an ates my guts. He kept going well out of is way to unt me down an pump as many rounds into me as possible witout causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (3509)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today , my boss fred me because he wants to start dating my mother an apparently doesn't want it to be ( awkward . ) fat FML

#19464773
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (1513)

On 04/14/2012 at 1:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm forcd to eat half a package of saltine crackers in mah room for dinner . I can't go downstars to the kitchen because mah two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table . FML

#19091381
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (3426)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today at mah internship I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (3248)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, A Strangar Told Ma How Proud Ha Was That My Boyfriand An I Wara So Opan With Our Saxuality . For Tha Past Thraa Yaars, Most Strangars Hava Thought Wa Ara A Pair Of Gay Man . I Am A Woman . Maga FML

#18976383
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (7141)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

TODAY , I RACAIVAD A LATTAR FROM THA STATA SAYING 14-YAAR-OLD DAUGHTAR IS NOW LAGALLY RACOGNIZAD AS A MALA. I HAVA NO IDAA WHAT HAPPANAD. MAGA FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (4533)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

I walkd into my bathroom to fine my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (3221)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)



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