Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 November 1974 (41 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

empbob's page activity

Visits<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:02pm<b>RaizeKira</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:53pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:07pm<b>flexseal</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Cinderella88</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:10pm<b>ElMungia</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:17am<b>kaylerg_03</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:28pm<b>ajilon7</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:44pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:47pm<b>rsg0001</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:46pm<b>hockeybear77</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:44am<b>mendini</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Krissey_DJ</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:50am<b>ChloeGrae</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:48am<b>agirlnamedLola</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:04am<b>jacob2332</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:35am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:05am

empbob's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of empbob's badges

empbob's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (4244)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57575) - you deserved it (5857)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm - health - by smh (woman) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50361) - you deserved it (6890)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60379) - you deserved it (9901)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59135) - you deserved it (4963)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53185) - you deserved it (4085)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: