emilyhg

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emilyhg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 509
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About emilyhg : Yolo (;

emilyhg's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:59am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 2:04am<b>XxWolfQueen</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:37am<b>sanitybreaks</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:56am<b>boudin227</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:04pm<b>ravecookiez</b> - the 10/01/2012 at 1:07am

emilyhg's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of emilyhg's badges

emilyhg's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

by Fmyapp / 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

by embarrassed / 05/26/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

by 918boyz / 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous