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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ememsee : 16 and reading FML too often. I love rock music and miss Steve Jobs...

ememsee's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:51pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 8:54am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:01am<b>Tyde</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:05am<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:25pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:50am<b>ohaidereitszeex3</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 4:47pm<b>WeLLtHaTsUxxx</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm<b>rick1</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:04am<b>stoneYa</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 4:34pm

ememsee's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of ememsee's badges

ememsee's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

by Username / 08/23/2011 at 11:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

by skipper / 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy