emala1096

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emala1096

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 876
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emala1096 : A bit immature, but immaturity is what keeps my life interesting.I like to think I'm funny. Actually, I think I'm freakin hilarious. Huge Potterhead. (~*slytherin house FTW*~) I am possibly the awkwardest person you will ever meet, so don't be too weirded out by my fucking strange comments. I do curse more than I really should. Stalk me, I'll pry your eyes out with a plastic spork because I am just a conniving bitch in that way. Have a fantabulous day!

emala1096's page activity

Visits<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:48pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:38pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:12am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:58am<b>Trollx</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:51pm<b>slickfawn</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:08am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:47am<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:58am<b>jdniscool</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:38pm<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:49am<b>Ahjuju223</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:50am<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:47am<b>mhee</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 9:09am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:39am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:47pm<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:59am

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emala1096's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

by fuck YOLO / 04/03/2013 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

by Gixie / 03/24/2013 at 11:56am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

by anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 2:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous