Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About emala1096 : A bit immature, but immaturity is what keeps my life interesting.I like to think I'm funny. Actually, I think I'm freakin hilarious. Huge Potterhead. (~*slytherin house FTW*~) I am possibly the awkwardest person you will ever meet, so don't be too weirded out by my fucking strange comments. I do curse more than I really should. Stalk me, I'll pry your eyes out with a plastic spork because I am just a conniving bitch in that way. Have a fantabulous day!
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
Tuesday 25 August 2015