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emala1096

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emala1096

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emala1096 : A bit immature, but immaturity is what keeps my life interesting.I like to think I'm funny. Actually, I think I'm freakin hilarious. Huge Potterhead. (~*slytherin house FTW*~) I am possibly the awkwardest person you will ever meet, so don't be too weirded out by my fucking strange comments. I do curse more than I really should. Stalk me, I'll pry your eyes out with a plastic spork because I am just a conniving bitch in that way. Have a fantabulous day!

emala1096's page activity

Visits<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:47am<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:58am<b>jdniscool</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:38pm<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:49am<b>Ahjuju223</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:50am<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:47am<b>mhee</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 9:09am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:59pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:45am<b>sazaraa</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:09am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 1:36pm<b>seth2637</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 1:20pm<b>hellboy985</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 8:08am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:51am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:15am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:05pm

Liked!<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:47pm<b>mcrptv</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:59am

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emala1096's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that every time mah girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. big fat FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48554) - you deserved it (5179)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, mah wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to mah brother chopping all mah bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clerely now, the bangs r gone!" fat FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (8353)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, ma cousin is visiting from Oklaoma. He can't go a minute witout saying ( looool YOLO ) or ( Swag ). He's going to be ere fir a week. FML

#20572695
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3610)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today... my cat learned te ard way wat te battub is for. Wile I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (3557)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah guinea pig was resting on mah shoulder. However, I forgot to tie mah hair up and she gnawd off a clump of it that was a good 6 inche long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. real FML

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today..!! I gave my son a fork..!! so I could try teaching him how to eat with one!! So far..!! he's been doing all the teaching!! He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork..!! I'll get shankd!! real FML

I noticed one of my neigbors as decided to place an old toilet in te middle of tere front lawn. Anoter one as ad a kitcen sink in tere driveway for a year... an yet anoter as a sofa in tere grass. Tese are te people wo taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leas. FML

my mom bitchd me out and threatend to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently ( immoral behavior. ) This is the same woman who cheatd on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil temptd her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, While I Was Using Mah Computer, Mah Cat Ran Up To The Power Strip, Looked Me In The Eyes, And Hit The Power Switch, Turning Everything Off. She Does This Quite Often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah laptop got hit by a Trojan . Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench . mega FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

TODAY I TRIPPED OVER MY DOG AND LANDED ON MY FACEHILE TRYING TO PROVE TO MY FATHER THAT I CAN WALK AND CHEW GUM AT THE SAME TIME. MEGA FML

#20064184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7888) - you deserved it (22851)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, When I Woke Up, I Noticd Something Crawling On Bd. A White Facd Wasp Was Dragging The Corpse Of A Rather Large Spider. I'm Not Sure What I Was More Disturbd About; The Fact That The Wasp Was Dragging Something Twice Its Size, Or That These Bugs Even Live In House. FML

#19942968
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (1805)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)



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