About elinhjortskull : Too busy being awesome.
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Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (4244)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -
Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21622) - you deserved it (3416)
On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (3618)
On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24411) - you deserved it (3115)
On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2119)
On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (4472)
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (27894)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (28265)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10961) - you deserved it (29579)
On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (23694)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (8038)
On 10/22/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by iplaytwister (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72578) - you deserved it (10081)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (570281)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (11777)
On 05/31/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by sierra808 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46032) - you deserved it (7234)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by paprgrl421 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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