About elinhjortskull : Too busy being awesome.
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Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (1958)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (1729)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (1955)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (1897)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (2783)
On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5466) - you deserved it (21610)
On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6232) - you deserved it (16282)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (12259)
On 01/10/2012 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (2234)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (2097)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (1748)
On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (38249)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (25886)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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