elinhjortskull

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elinhjortskull

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1294
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elinhjortskull : Too busy being awesome.

elinhjortskull's page activity

Visits<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:37am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:18pm<b>thedarkmagician</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Novadi</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:49pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:53am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 4:21am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:36am<b>leonlee2002</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:18am<b>TorturedXeno</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:33am<b>Paradoxify</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 12:24am<b>GumpyGobbler</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 2:45am<b>_Madison_F_</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:37pm<b>bri5083</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:40pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 12:33pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 9:48am

Fucked!<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:18am<b>thedarkmagician</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:45pm

elinhjortskull's FML badges

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elinhjortskull's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

by nice one / 08/30/2012 at 11:24am / Love

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

by freaked out / 08/30/2012 at 4:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy