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eggmarie

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 7:30am) | Search for a member

eggmarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3218
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

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eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54026) - you deserved it (313019)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233159) - you deserved it (31026)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233159) - you deserved it (31026)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50750) - you deserved it (8952)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

#134361
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (5489)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

#122895
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (4586)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (7015)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60936) - you deserved it (21074)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75984) - you deserved it (7072)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17195) - you deserved it (46326)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (9713)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

#1883
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (10414)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (6303)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41203) - you deserved it (5992)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (21933)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version



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