eb0ny

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Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 5:06am)

eb0ny

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4235
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)

eb0ny's page activity

Visits<b>yenze</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 3:36am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:10pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:02am<b>jill97</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:02am<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:54am<b>R2Y2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:29pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:34pm<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:11am<b>MarkTheMintMan</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:49pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:49am<b>thecore23456</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:22am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:58am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:25pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 5:14am<b>feitan98</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:51am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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eb0ny's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

by JSeth / 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

by iluvcoconutrough / 07/02/2009 at 12:34am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

by Al / 06/22/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

by sunboy52 / 05/05/2009 at 3:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

by kraussy / 05/04/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

by jess / 04/30/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

by Chelsea / 04/21/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous