About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (7129)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11526) - you deserved it (32089)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)
Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (4658)
On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (2170)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9893) - you deserved it (25559)
On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (2595)
On 10/16/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by DamnThatsHarsh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (2696)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (43634)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5583) - you deserved it (45226)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (36365)
On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (36365)
On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (5965)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4540) - you deserved it (48935)
On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55529) - you deserved it (4007)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (9960)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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