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eb0ny

Offline (the 12/01/2014 at 1:28pm) | Search for a member

eb0ny

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2696
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)

eb0ny's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:45pm<b>dieselfreak18</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:32am<b>Zevulon</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:32pm<b>abattior</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:17pm<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:32pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:08pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:27pm<b>facelick</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:47am<b>feven</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:12pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:39am<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:41am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:52pm<b>sh07</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:13pm<b>witcher</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:08am<b>DaNorwEHgian</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:55am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:44pm<b>sshie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:07pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:22am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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eb0ny's favorite FMLs

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (10583)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (4815)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (3260)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (1736)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (7212)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (3813)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (36130)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (2641)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

#17064956
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3836)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (7402)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (5053)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (41435)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States



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