About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15257) - you deserved it (3043)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (9385)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (1746)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (2539)
On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (3459)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (2397)
On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (1175)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (5413)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (28286)
On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (1778)
On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35535) - you deserved it (2861)
On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (5615)
On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (4472)
On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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