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eb0ny

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 2:45pm) | Search for a member

eb0ny

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2492
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)

eb0ny's page activity

Visits<b>misteygirl</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:08pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:27pm<b>facelick</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:47am<b>feven</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:12pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:39am<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:41am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:52pm<b>sh07</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:13pm<b>witcher</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:08am<b>DaNorwEHgian</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:55am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:44pm<b>sshie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:07pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>impno1</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:35pm<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 1:26am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Crixon</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 9:41am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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eb0ny's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (9405)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19583) - you deserved it (2630)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12243) - you deserved it (20212)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (1915)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (1949)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (4675)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10409) - you deserved it (32370)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

#19573864
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (4691)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (51271) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (4316)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (1857)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (9116)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (1812)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (5891)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (17860)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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