eb0ny

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 5:06am)

eb0ny

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4346
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)

eb0ny's page activity

Visits<b>yenze</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 3:36am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:10pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:02am<b>jill97</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:02am<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:54am<b>R2Y2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:29pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:34pm<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:11am<b>MarkTheMintMan</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:49pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:49am<b>thecore23456</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:22am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:58am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:25pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 5:14am<b>feitan98</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:51am

eb0ny's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of eb0ny's badges

eb0ny's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML

by hitnmiss66 / 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

by HomelessGirl1 / 05/21/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

by nick / 05/18/2012 at 3:22am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

by kazmatazz / 05/17/2012 at 6:33am / Oman / Work

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

by just me / 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

by fired / 05/13/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids