eb0ny

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Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 5:06am)

eb0ny

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4630
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About eb0ny : My time is spent hoarding cats. Currently I have acquired four, but I am working on a fifth one. I submit a lot of FMLS because I hate my life. :)

eb0ny's page activity

Visits<b>oreo00</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 5:44pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:28am<b>yenze</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 3:36am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:10pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:02am<b>jill97</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:02am<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:54am<b>R2Y2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:29pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:34pm<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:11am<b>MarkTheMintMan</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:49pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:49am<b>thecore23456</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:22am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:58am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:25pm

eb0ny's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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eb0ny's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

by marquez_jasmine / 07/21/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

by liquid_sasquatch / 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm / United States / Kids