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ealovan

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 5:18am) | Search for a member

ealovan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About ealovan : surrealist

ealovan's page activity

Visits<b>klm2purple</b> - yesterday at 11:17pm<b>imjustakid1987</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:32am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:46am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:14pm<b>crystalxa</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:30am<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:22pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:09pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:51am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:20am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:27pm<b>0987654321123465</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>brittany2230</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:19am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:02pm<b>ameliaaa4</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:00pm

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One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

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ealovan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you deserved it (17185)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (14253)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (5754)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14725) - you deserved it (57794)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (4492)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36158) - you deserved it (8390)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55654) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (5555)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (6151)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43139) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (8961)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)



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