dyschordia

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dyschordia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2278
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dyschordia : everything is fascinating when you have work to do



haha - I just discovered there's a band with my username! How weird =D

dyschordia's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:07am<b>CommandoGregor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:42pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:10pm<b>dblogic</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:19pm<b>GeorgetheOreo</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:25am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:58am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>kaelee2015</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 3:31pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:24pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:06am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:20am<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm<b>The__Redneck</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 2:10pm

dyschordia's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dyschordia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

by Bee / 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

by JayFri / 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

by Whoops / 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

by kyle / 06/05/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy