By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 376
You deserved it 15 726

Same thing different taste

Top comments

dudeitsdanny 9

Get a vibrator, and turn on some ****. And, word of advice, don't sext a boy you just happen to like. It won't end well. He will either ignore you or turn you down.. Or use you. Very few of us would date a girl we can have, anyways.. And those of us who would are, in majority, part of the ignoring group. Get some class with that vibrator, too. Try not to look so desperate.

Comments

Have you PLAYED Minecraft? lol jk. Fyl OP.

Who needs a girl when you have your hand?

FatMan23 10

Yes #5, and I didn't like it. So I went back to WoW. Either way, it's just plain sad.

hahaha wow 54. Considering your username, profile info, and picture, I'm surprised you said that

lol welcome to the night with rosey palm and her five sisters.

To all the people who say minecraft is not better than sex, then you obviously haven't played an intense session of it.

vip3r20 8

this is the first I'm hearing of minecraft....guess that means I'm just having too much sex haha jk I wish :/

To all the people who say Minecraft is better than sex, you obviously haven't "played" an intense session of it.

nmearayta 0

op's crush clearly already has a girlfriend... Handgelina Jolie or Chelsea HANDler

BigHoshJosh 0

I'm like this but with call of duty. I won't even have time for my hand on 11/9/2011

WoW>Minecraft Sex>Minecraft Sex v WoW... that's a tough one...

he could have ditched the wank and had sex with you instead..?

MyCleverName 2

I wish I could help with this argument, with sex and WoW and Minecraft but I haven't played any of them....

Herropreez17 0

Umm no. You obviously have never had sex if you prefer a video game (and a crappy one too) over sex. You are most likely 13. Don't talk about shit you have no experiance in and most likely never will. Get a life.

Nevermind my icon, I don't see how it's sad to do what you want alone instead of having sex. Just because you'd jump at the chance to get in bed with some chick you hardly know, and the guy in the FML wouldn't, doesn't make him sad. It's not a bad thing just because it's not what most people would do. Depending on my mood, I might just choose Minecraft over sex too- and I have both in very close reach. But hey, I'm a loner anyway.

hossjosh 1

who the hell does that big hoss Josh think he is, what a poser and FYI I'm pissed that my comment has nothing to do with anything anyone's talking about.

fthku 13

#202, I find that it's usually the ones who don't or can't get sex very often are the ones who say stuff like you do. Unlike certain people, some guys get enough action that they don't have to desperately stop whatever they're doing and jump for some girl. If I was doing something I like, whether it is video games, playing guitar or anything else, I wouldn't stop it for a girl who feels horny tonight so she booty calls me. I'm also engaged, but my point still stands.

his mom wus proly given him da bidness

LOLbomb 1

He should have bought minecraft for you so you both could have minecraft sex.

WoW ******* sucks ass. You run around as a ******* elf and swing magical swords around. If I wanted to do that. I'd just play a good fantasy game. like Oblivion. Minecraft is the shit. Who doesn't like building epic structures only limited to your imagination???

*cough* ******* retard *cough* if you don't know what Minecraft is then you have been living in a ******* cave for too long buddy. which you can do in Minecraft. I used to live in a cave, but then I made some TNT and...well it didn't go well

193, I have played 1outof3 and I can say that...Minecraft is ******* amazing.

MagicGiraffe 12

Surprised nobody has taken into consideration that OP could be hideous and disgusting...

man I would've def paused the game for 15 min to plow the op but I'm just a gentleman like that

Some people would just rather spend time alone.

And obviously you've never had an intensive sexual experience. Minecraft is minecraft. But sex...now that's actually something special. And OP, remember. A year from now when he can't get laid because he's pulled this crap on every girl who likes him, he'll be wondering why.

JocelynKaulitz 28

Let's just hope you're still in the mood tomorrow.

Minecrafts a fun game. I don't blame him

Minecrafts a fun game. I don't blame him

Dreamkiller51 5

wow OP must be really ugly If she got rejected by a big Nerd

torrrrxoh 0

her booty call got denied... that's sad

bpell15 5

it's sad that anyone can deny a booty call :/ I feel bad for her.

you dont gotta be a nerd to play Minecraft. you just gotta have imagination. and a computer. a computer helps the process.

shaniecerb 0

lets hope shes not as desperate tomoro

Don't mess with Minecraft. It won't end well for you.

cockseverywhere 2

like world of Warcraft, it has replaced social interaction.

JacksonCampbell 9

Mess with Minecraft, and the creepers will find you.

captainsuperdawg 0

next time you'll know better. don't interfere with minecraft

You just build shit with blocks. . [][] . [][] . [][] . [][][][][][]

minecraft is one of the single best things about life. don't judge me, Lifes not great ATM.

wakeNmakePIZZA 0

obviously you have never played minecraft...

blanquito 1
LOLbomb 1

My minecraft character is Chewbacca. Just felt like sharing that. :/

Hell yeah! Notch is such a ****-blocker!

gota love a little building with the side of a good old wank

all right, moving on to the next hot guy!

LunaNstars 0

sounds like the reasonable thing to do!

Hmm. At least he was honest, and didn't fake a head ache. Another one of those girl speak things, where guys are x10 clearer.

dudeitsdanny 9

Get a vibrator, and turn on some ****. And, word of advice, don't sext a boy you just happen to like. It won't end well. He will either ignore you or turn you down.. Or use you. Very few of us would date a girl we can have, anyways.. And those of us who would are, in majority, part of the ignoring group. Get some class with that vibrator, too. Try not to look so desperate.

ToyotaObsession 1

ROFL you don't know guys. Most guys will have sex with a girl they aren't interested in just to have sex. Nothing wrong with a girl trying to get some play. guys do it constantly.

dudeitsdanny 9

^ I said date, not ****. And I'm a guy.. A straight guy.. I think I have a good idea of how guys work. And most guys wouldn't have sex with a girl just to have sex. Turn off the reality TV and the douche-finder. You'll find most of us are selective with looks, and some of us even with minds. Hell, I won't have sex with a girl who can't hold a conversation with me. But I'm not getting any yet from my girlfriend that I can talk to for hours, so it's a Catch 22.

ToyotaObsession 1

You're what? 13? Once you get older you'll find out what guys are really like.

Nicely put. Indeed, OP needs to learn the dance of attraction if she doesn't want to be used. Quite obviously, a guy that she had enticed to like her would NEVER pass her up if he could help it.

Daerauko 0

you sound like someone who is gonna drop your girlfriend once you get some only because you can get her. good luck on being happy.

dudeitsdanny 9

Twenty, actually. Not old enough to be a mysoginist, yet, I guess. Or to know enough of them. But I guess when you're 30 and your car obsession consists of Toyotas... You'll take what you can get. I hope I never reach the point of not having girls who want me.

Toyota Person, reality may not always be consistent with your assumption of it... Bad day much?

dudeitsdanny 9

Me? No, not at all. I knew i'd have to wait when we started dating, and I don't mind. I just like to point it out for kicks. I fell in love with her exemplary singing and intelligence, though her looks are a definite plus. I don't even know how I'd make anyone think something like that.

sweetcheeksjvl 0

people on fml get easily offended so if you know what you meant to say was right than that's all that matters.And you were giving an honest opinion that's pretty factual.

cockseverywhere 2

OMG YOU LIKE POKEMON TOO? I read your 'about me' thing. very touching

38, stop making emotionally based comments... it's spewing from your paragraphs making your argument less effective and irrational

ToyotaObsession 1

You must not have gone to college or even got out much. I guess when you're stuck at home it sounds romantic to say you wont sleep with a girl you can't have a conversation with. But over here in reality men realize you don't have to talk to a girl in order to have great sex. This childish notion you have that someone is a misogynist because they realize guys like sex is stupid. Maybe it's an act you put on to impress the girls of FML but its kind of sad. Honestly if all these girls want you at 20 why is your girlfriend away? couldn't find a girl to date on your town?

Yea yea... We get it. You're a sex addict.

dudeitsdanny 9

Sigh. You need help. You live in a really sad world. I'm a cynic, but I sure as hell hope i'm never a 30 year old so bitter that I'm trying to warp the minds of others. Also... 1. I'm in college. Just finished my third year. I get out enough, usually have people over, since I live alone and not in a dorm. 2. Who said my girlfriend is away? She's not here with me now, but we're both in the same school. I'll let her know she moved when I see her Thursday. She'll be surprised. I'd love to know who said my girlfriend doesn't live here, though. At least wait 5 months till she graduates and decides whether to move back home to Jersey, stay in SF, or move to LA like I am since my exchange is done. You know, before jumping to werd conclusions. Is this how you get your jollies? I hope you're just another ugly little troll.

lulututu 4

okayy dudeitsdanny sounds like a pretty cool guy and it sucks how bad people are trying to make him sound stupid or whatever.

nothing like a classic fml comment fight

Danny, while the world would be a better place with guys like us that want to know a girl first, Toyota is right. the vast majority of men are just looking to ****. only reason he is getting thumbed down is because the most of people on here are young people with smartphones, AKA middle class at the least. the world is a shitty place for most. don't be naive

70, you're just a bundle of stereotypes aren't you? Not everyone lives in your 'reality' and some people have to have an emotional connection to the person or it's a no go. Yes it's possible to have decent sex with out knowing the person BUT not everyone is into ******* every random bimbo who flashes her **** at you. But if you're going to go into stereotypes I must say you must have security issues and you must be an easy lay if you can't keep it in your pants and assume everyone follows your footsteps. :3

dudeitsdanny 9

Lulututu- Thank you. But it just amuses me. If that's his intention, it's certainly backfiring. I'm trying really hard to keep the bad Toyota jokes to myself, though. He's gotten me to that point ;P

lulututu 4
dudeitsdanny 9

81- I won't disagree guys want sex. Hell, despite what i am now, when I was 18, I had spent all summer just hooking up, no girlfriends. I stand by what I said, though: Most guys won't **** just any girl. That was the one point of his I disclaimed before the conversation took a turn.

and while he turned to insulting you like a child, that point he made is correct. the MAJORITY of men, are mediocre, have nothing going for them, and scrape a living. they take what they can get. and of course every girl will agree with you, because a woman's brain is wired so that they can barely, if at all, fathom sex without a connection because they see them as one in the same. I like ya, Danny, but you live in a bubble. nothing wrong with that. just don't act like understand the world as a whole.

dudeitsdanny 9

I'm officially scared to leave college then. Here I thought that at least the majority of my gender had standards. I'm not even talking about love, but at least an attraction. Even physical. There's hope for Rosie O'Donnell look-alikes after all. Though, I'll be honest, when I was 18 I had sex with a girl who thought Star Wars and Star Trek were the same basic thing.. She looked like a younger Cameron Diaz, though.. And that will always be my excuse.

ToyotaObsession 1

ROFL kids these days. It's so easy to see past your bullshit. You know when people on the internet start injecting strange personal accounts that have nothing to do with the matter at hand, it's easy to tell they are lying. What does this girl getting denied have to do with your girlfriend and you not having sex? Why do you want everyone to know that you would just die if girls ever stopped wanting you? Because you're full of shit. Also I'm insulting you because you have nothing of any substance to say. You try to make the case that because you have a girl you're "dating" in "college" and haven't had sex yet that disproves everything I said. All I've stated is that most guys will have sex with most girls given the opportunity. It's a fact, despite the random celibate teenager. Will a Brad Pit bang a 500 pound chick just because she got naked? Probably not, unless he's into that. So seriously, unless you have something intelligent to say that has nothing to do with your fake personal life. Just stop now while you are ahead.

ToyotaObsession 1

ROFL the world is scared you made it into "college" with so little Knowledge of the real world and not some sanitized, whitewashed version where all men are chivalrously defending a woman's honor at all time. Where did you get your idea of the world at large? A textbook from the 20's?

Stroke_Her_Ace 15

Kinda sounds like she was looking to be used

Toyota, just stop while you can, good lord.

dudeitsdanny 9

I added my personal life, because it showed that my own standards can lead to no sex at all. Thought it was obvious. You're just looking sad, twisting my words. Since when does thinking people need to feel attracted to who they **** mean living in that world you say I live in? There's a huge incongruency between what I said and what you're responding to. But I guess that comes with the territory of not being able to even argue: Personal attacks and attacking what's not said doesn't work. Not on me. But nice try.

dudeitsdanny 9

97- I would have thought so.. But something about including she likes the guy makes me think she wants more than a fix at some point. My response was based on that assumption.

Stroke_Her_Ace 15

That was actually directed towards 39's comment. However, I agree with you she did say a boy she likes not a boy she just finds physically attractive.

kaoss54 3

hahaha just gimme a few drinks n I'll sleep with most girls as long as they ain't fat lol

I Lold reading this . just proved a theory I already knew. Men will basically **** whoever they can and think its perfectly ok . funny though, girls hate 'experienced' guys so in the end their literally just screwing themselves.Lol. btw to the nice guy who's trying to make men sound more intelligent then most are; kudos to you for holding your own. your girlfriends got a catch for sure. you actually have a ******* brain and use it. hopefully some day there is more men like you in society.

I've gotta say, unfortunately, I agree with Toyota guy, but not the way he's saying it. Danny you seem one-on-a-million, but i lived with 8 guys who are decent people, and I've seen the girls leaving our house in the morning...most guys want sex, it's part of our DNA and when combined with alcohol guys will sleep with almost anything

by the time I saw ur comment u had 69 likes.... FML is trying to tell me something....

pablothepenguin 2

I have to agree with Toyota... although somewhere on this earth there has to be a normal guy right now all I've encountered are the people toyotas describing. ANYWAYS make love not war!

There's no need to hate. You guys will have to agree to disagree. And both of you are wrong, to a point. Not every guy will sleep with any girl. Everyone has different standards, ranging from shallow to the people who will sleep with any girl who walks by. But we all have our different opinions on what's attractive. Ask the chubby-chasers, compared to the extremely picky. You'll get a different opinion every time.

Toyota seems to get unnecessarily angry and aggressive for no reason. Fail

RainbowHeadache 2

Most guys I know would definitely turn a girl down who sexts him really early in a relationship or like Op did. You come off as easy that way. On the flip side, practically everyone my boyfriend knows will just sleep with any girl, but they at least have to find her somewhat attractive. It's different everywhere.

28 - ur 1st problem is that u like Toyota..

jklol11 0

hahaha you've got a funny name :P

so yeah, uhh... minecraft -is- pretty fun...

7- please start a class where you teach other males to act like this. really.

And then people wonder why there's so much more lesbians....because of horny asses like 30 year old Toyota dude. I mean hey honestly it's the truth, 99.9% of germ--I mean MEN will stick their dick wherever they can! Stupid joke aside though...it's nice to see that there's still some guys out there who can control their dick, not looks so desperate and actually talk to a girl.

pYrO92583 0

well no flaw in your ideas but have you aver watched 2and a half men cause the harsh reality is that guys like charlie get laid all the Time yet alans not so much

you don't have sex with girls unless they can hold a convo? when I was single I wanted to have sex with bimbos, and the last thing I wanted from them was a convo. get in get done get out. simple as that. if I'm interested in a girl it's different. but not if I'm looking to get laid. but I'm straight, and a guy ;)

jacquay09 3

I think he is actually approaching this situation a lot more maturely than you. I'm just saying, and he's right. only high school kids will **** anything that moves. get some standards mate

heyitskatiee 0

haa dudeitsdanny, don't listen to the haters, they're not even worth it, ;]

Toyota and Danny. If you guys can combine your thoughts then you will be the perfect guy! Not nearly ad perfect as I am tho homie. So get on Ma level. I take what I get but what I get is always good. I can't get a rest with all these girls on my wood. Girl I will love you well and the hours will pass with the toll of the bell. Baby we will never stop, so get a mop, cuz you gettin so wet like my basketball shot. Well that was random as ****. I'm sorry guys.......

Eggers 2

dudeitsdanny- could you pwn any more?

being a nice guy never got anyone a gf I know from personal experience it's the guys who treat people like shit but put on a fake act for the girls that get gfs.

also it's the guys that do stick their dick in everything that have anyone people who will wait always seem to be alone because no1 gives them a chance.

k soo idk you Danny, but I totally have a crush on you right now:)

I kinda lost sympathy after reading "I was unbelievingly horny so..."

sounds like you need to work on your A game a bit

kingjames2306 0

kawboy that is a bad ass tattoo

For 20 years, until it's faded an your skin starts to sag.

thanks 72.. and in 20 more years I won't give a shit so it's cool for now

VeeVengeance 0

He says, "having a wank." You didn't miss out on much of a man.

cockseverywhere 2

at first I thought your picture was just a bloody pad, which completely grossed me out. then I realized it was a costume. I'm still pretty disgusted. :l

I was wondering why he would openly choose to ********** when he could be sexing OP... Either OP is ugly/bitchy or the guy is totally clueless, or both.

VeeVengeance 0

I don't care if he's from the UK. It just doesnt sound like a manly man juice masturbating phrase. You pissy ****.

Your avatar sort of goes perfectly with your comment. Shall I dress Ayame01 up as a box of Midol? :-)