Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dyschordia

Search for a member

dyschordia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1657
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dyschordia : everything is fascinating when you have work to do



haha - I just discovered there's a band with my username! How weird =D

dyschordia's page activity

Visits<b>GeorgetheOreo</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:25am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:58am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>kaelee2015</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 3:31pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:24pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:06am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:20am<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm<b>The__Redneck</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 2:10pm<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 7:30pm<b>nybsucubos</b> - the 01/19/2011 at 7:32pm<b>Crystal_Dreams</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:26am<b>Rejectofsociety9</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 12:05am<b>onelove222</b> - the 07/14/2010 at 3:41am<b>281go</b> - the 07/12/2010 at 12:46am<b>NoteMyGrin</b> - the 07/05/2010 at 10:26pm

dyschordia's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dyschordia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14628) - you deserved it (52924)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I realised I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

#16718637
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28912) - you deserved it (9417)

On 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (10336)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15069) - you deserved it (214979)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (14240)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

#16646185
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45563) - you deserved it (17913)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (5573)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (15042)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (47663)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39692) - you deserved it (4371)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13150) - you deserved it (46077)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (6423)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (5409)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

#16568817
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2954)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by DrugDeal (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: