This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47416) - you deserved it (6398)
On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (5911)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (1665)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by Bondi414 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (2121)
On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6708) - you deserved it (47155)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (1723)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)
Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5465) - you deserved it (16091)
On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (3182)
On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (9828)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (1800)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (8242)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (36435)
On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
