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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (2811)
On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10444) - you deserved it (3198)
On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8171) - you deserved it (40662)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (1872)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44782) - you deserved it (9085)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (74023) - you deserved it (3194)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (90668)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (32625)
On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9939) - you deserved it (41234)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off of the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and an bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113002) - you deserved it (14251)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82692) - you deserved it (3571)
On 05/01/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by Flipside (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66791) - you deserved it (4228)
On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64617) - you deserved it (3467)
On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59195) - you deserved it (6838)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (55777)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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