Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About dude1122332 : I'll add things later on if I feel like it's important enough. But my life is pretty boring..
I noticed all the regular commenters have changed their profile pic so I did as well. Juice box 2.0.(:
Hmm.. I'm 15, my favorite band is Hollywood Undead. And just about tied is Deuce, their former singer. I'm going to be an uncle next year, excited about that.(: And that pretty much sums up my life. Bye.
Hollywood undead- Black Dahlia
LinkinPark- somewhere I belong
Many more as well. music is my passion. My life.
Hope one day I will be a Marine. USMC.
STF_MARINE_JD Black Ops2? (PS3 ONLY! Thank you.)
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML
Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
Monday 1 September 2014