About dressedskeleton : Yippee Ka Yay :)
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (1447)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (4418)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13045) - you deserved it (1680)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (17682)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13588) - you deserved it (1632)
On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15266) - you deserved it (1347)
On 09/07/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by poopexperttt - United States
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (1992)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (5109)
On 08/26/2012 at 12:15am - love - by bummerdood (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (4107)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (2538)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (35916)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15631) - you deserved it (1492)
On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (20207)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3421) - you deserved it (16194)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10970) - you deserved it (12656)
On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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