About dramaelf : I am me. That is all.
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50 quality responses
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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dramaelf's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
by earlytermination / 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2015 at 4:39am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
by I'm a pussy, yeah yeah / 09/05/2015 at 1:56am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML
by oww / 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML
by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2015 at 12:37am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by mumfordandsonimdisappointed / 08/29/2015 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love