About dramaelf : I am me. That is all.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (3413)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)
Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (2248)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having back pains and was making moaning noises because of the pain. My neighbors came over to my apartment to complain. When I opened the door I let out a moan and the woman said, "See! I told you she wasn't having sex!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (4327)
On 06/16/2013 at 9:37am - health - by back pain - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (6047)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (16089)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (5285)
On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (2559)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (59885)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (4138)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (4440)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (4310)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (10799)
On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40865) - you deserved it (4055)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (6196)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3577)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 17 June 2013
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