About dragonh4t : 16 years old. I like video games and reading.
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Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (4736)
On 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm - animals - by kengu (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (2965)
On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45472) - you deserved it (3594)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (4994)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:23am - health - by lynnie - United States (Texas)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34765) - you deserved it (14399)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (5145)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11322) - you deserved it (33189)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (11941)
On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (44295)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (11994) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (42720)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8613) - you deserved it (22154)
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (35485)
On 10/22/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (40966) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21490)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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