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  • Number of visits : 1238
  • Number of comments : 88
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doubleddun's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/15/2014 at 8:02am - work - by iworkatofficedepothomes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37864) - you deserved it (3627)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68183) - you deserved it (8559)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (5753)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71343) - you deserved it (4411)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54440) - you deserved it (3949)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51667) - you deserved it (18378)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (9407)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (84910) - you deserved it (4471)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53860) - you deserved it (11484)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51028) - you deserved it (3849) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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