Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

donkey_hang_down

Search for a member

donkey_hang_down

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6152
  • Number of comments : 841
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About donkey_hang_down : Wasting time at work on FML again...

donkey_hang_down's page activity

Visits<b>fuckercakes</b> - yesterday at 10:53pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:24am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:03pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:18pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:13pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:21pm<b>chrissapp</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:44pm<b>codkingmaster1</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:57pm<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:56pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:34pm<b>eiflyyyy</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:41pm<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:20am<b>snazman</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Thtguy91</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:33pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ShadowClone27</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:45am<b>jaegerpilot</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:12pm

donkey_hang_down's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

donkey_hang_down's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (13533)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87630) - you deserved it (14647)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (105621)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (8040)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (17050)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML

#5580795
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (9305)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (16549)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60689) - you deserved it (2466)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (3736)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (94026)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48888) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

#4516165
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58003) - you deserved it (8454)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - love - by ish (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (140750)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83218) - you deserved it (5661)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: