About donkey_hang_down : Wasting time at work on FML again...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41385) - you deserved it (2646)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (2158)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (4621)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (1904)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (1904)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (2304)
On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19956) - you deserved it (5291)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (4303)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5299) - you deserved it (26744)
On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (2738)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (6150)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia
Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1568)
On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (5320)
On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (3471)
On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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