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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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donkey_hang_down

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donkey_hang_down
  • Town/Country : Dallas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3848
  • Number of comments : 841
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About donkey_hang_down : Wasting time at work on FML again...

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donkey_hang_down's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML

#7211389 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (2533)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by snickerdoodles - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (48447) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (4476)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (19377) - you deserved it (4836)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12482) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML

#6866233 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (6762)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (17475) - you deserved it (1759)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (1661)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)