About dogpup4 : I'm really not that interesting, you can leave now.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (9392)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (4050)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (20261)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (7344)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (1660)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37147) - you deserved it (4345)
On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (2559)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41110) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (12903)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (66341)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10129) - you deserved it (30095)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (2025)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (7245)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (1410)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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