About dogpup4 : I'm really not that interesting, you can leave now.
dogpup4's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
dogpup4's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 12:18am / United States / Love
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
by VerbalDiarrhea / 01/08/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by plantfood / 01/06/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by bellerz14 / 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not… Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts… Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background…