About dogpup4 : I'm really not that interesting, you can leave now.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15264) - you deserved it (3817)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (1328)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (3823)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (3869)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (2170)
On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21043)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (33124)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (4311)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (17392)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (9385)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (4044)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (6970)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (20212)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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