About dogpup4 : I'm really not that interesting, you can leave now.
dogpup4's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
dogpup4's favorite FMLs
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
by wtf / 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML
by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat… Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled… Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm.…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my…