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diego2k5

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diego2k5

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  • Number of visits : 347
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diego2k5's page activity

Visits<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:12pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:49am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 09/03/2012 at 2:22pm

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diego2k5's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

#16995369
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24086) - you deserved it (16873)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by thoughtcrimeno1 - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37547) - you deserved it (5201)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (17445)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65486) - you deserved it (7377)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (9595)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8543) - you deserved it (61380)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

#15710097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13489) - you deserved it (42606)

On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43170) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (27836)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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