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diamondandrust

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diamondandrust

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  • Number of visits : 98
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diamondandrust's page activity

Visits<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 3:18pm

diamondandrust's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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diamondandrust's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (4898)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (4686)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (6850)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51192) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11456) - you deserved it (23825)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

#19874038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (4670)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (6138)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21859) - you deserved it (4340)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (5840)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

#18573641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (3916)

On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (1998)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32522) - you deserved it (1958)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

#16467206
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States



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