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destroytocreate's FML badges
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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs
by unwanted / 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML
by amazinghermit / 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals
by Hammy / 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
by nenette / 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm / France / Animals
by honey, no boo-boo / 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Love
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/10/2014 at 9:28am / Germany (Berlin) / Love
by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love