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destroytocreate

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destroytocreate
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 3095
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (2958)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48627) - you deserved it (3552)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (13982)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60737) - you deserved it (10398)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46785) - you deserved it (4123)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (11005)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
124 comments

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45799) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (6784)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38334) - you deserved it (24152)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (2981)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48335) - you deserved it (57911)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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