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destroytocreate's FML badges
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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML
by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
by LonelyGuy / 12/15/2014 at 6:59am / Australia / Love
by lonesome / 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML
by endure_survive / 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML
by ehxtraordinarily pissed / 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
by fistycunt4 / 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by justawallflower / 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by come on man / 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Oregon) / Love