destroytocreate

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destroytocreate

3Fucked!

destroytocreate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7890
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - 36 minutes ago<b>tin_cup</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Apollo_Smoke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>b0red</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:07am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - 11 hours ago<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:03am

destroytocreate's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm / Intimacy

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

by Why? / 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2015 at 8:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

by JefferyLillie / 01/07/2015 at 3:31am / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.