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destroytocreate

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destroytocreate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4628
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

destroytocreate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (5196)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (4108)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (11502)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (9442)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85583) - you deserved it (13130)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (25544)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (31380)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (243704)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (49318)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (2472)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (5459)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (5624)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)



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