destroytocreate

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destroytocreate

3Fucked!

destroytocreate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 2:57pm<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 10:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 11:19pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 8:37pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Apollo_Smoke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>b0red</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:07am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:18am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 2:37am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:03am

destroytocreate's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of destroytocreate's badges

destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

by pretty_coin / 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Health

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

by cmd102 / 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy