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destroytocreate's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by monster1109 / 08/10/2015 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by bootyislife / 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
by kash / 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML
by guitarki / 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money
Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML
by Bullet4MyChemaMo / 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous
by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging… Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of… Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will…