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destroytocreate

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destroytocreate

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  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3695
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51053) - you deserved it (4482)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (4897)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (7943)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (6959)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (6246)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (16184)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47942) - you deserved it (9545)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (7136)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (19695)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (9269)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (5308)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46318) - you deserved it (3698)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)



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