Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

destroytocreate

Offline (the 02/11/2016 at 4:50am) | Search for a member

destroytocreate

1Fucked!

destroytocreate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7053
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:00pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Apollo_Smoke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>b0red</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:07am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:03am

destroytocreate's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of destroytocreate's badges

destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

#21477939
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (4148)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

#21475588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (4212)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:42am - love - by JJ (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

#21475547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (3423)

On 10/03/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by NothowIimaginedmyday (woman) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

#21475453
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:45pm - love - by FML (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

#21475435
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (6380)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm - intimacy - by sad-boing (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

#21475264
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (1954)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I learned what being stabbed in the leg by an ex feels like. FML

#21475215
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/02/2015 at 12:24am - love - by Anon Y. Mous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He did it over Snapchat because he said he didn't want to hear me sad over the phone and wanted to save data. Three years down the drain. FML

#21474173
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2037)

On 09/29/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Out of Ice Cream - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

#21472776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/26/2015 at 12:10am - kids - by :| (woman) - New Zealand (Nelson)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

#21472475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (1785)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:31am - love - by hunting7waves - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

#21471391
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (1715)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by gotmilk? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

#21468651
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (3994)

On 09/15/2015 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

#21467618
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (1744)

On 09/12/2015 at 12:16pm - health - by RightInTheFace (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: