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destroytocreate's FML badges
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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs
by tye61 / 01/16/2016 at 7:54am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML
by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 4:41am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
by PerturbedStudent / 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university 2 years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
by Suckered / 12/04/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/22/2015 at 10:17pm / Canada / Love
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
by angelisa / 11/21/2015 at 9:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/20/2015 at 5:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 4:39am / Australia / Love