Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

destroytocreate

Online | Search for a member

destroytocreate

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4227
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

destroytocreate's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of destroytocreate's badges

destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (2389)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30245) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (8297)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (4910)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: