Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

destroytocreate

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

destroytocreate

1Fucked!

destroytocreate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5979
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:00pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Apollo_Smoke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>b0red</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:07am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:03am

destroytocreate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of destroytocreate's badges

destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (5363)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

#21459209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (6982)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:18am - intimacy - by fuck no (woman) - India (Kerala)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (6112)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (7949)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3560)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (1940)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (3391)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (2540)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (12397)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (6049)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: