Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

destroytocreate

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 2:41pm) | Search for a member

destroytocreate

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5801
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

destroytocreate's page activity

Visits<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:00pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Apollo_Smoke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>b0red</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:07am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:03am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>oh_lordy_me</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:46am<b>sleepless101</b> - the 06/06/2012 at 8:45pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:03am

destroytocreate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of destroytocreate's badges

destroytocreate's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (3320)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

#21419164
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (2660)

On 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by kash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (3907)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (22712)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (7716)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (3565)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (19619)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156) - you deserved it (35)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3078)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
115 comments

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (3648)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: