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destroytocreate's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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destroytocreate's favorite FMLs
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
by bruised / 04/11/2016 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2016 at 3:25am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Anon / 04/08/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
by fuckoffgramps / 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 5:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Kimel / 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love
by Septy / 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by 221bcompanion / 01/18/2016 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by tye61 / 01/16/2016 at 7:54am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's… Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I…